The Department of Defense runs a program called TALON (Threat and Local Observation Notice) to monitor terrorist threats agains the US military. It has recently been reported that student organizations involved in protests against the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy of the military have been under surveillance within this program. Now we can all feel safer in the knowledge that the grave threat posed by groups of gay college students is under control. We no more have to fear that they will show up at military recruiting events and taunt the recruiters about their bad haircuts until they would cry, which is about the most threatening scenario I can think of.

In somewhat related news, an Alabama petting zoo was among a list of critical targets for terrorism maintained by the Department of Homeland Security. Now we know why it was necessary to cut by 40% the counter-terrorism funds for Washington and New York, seeing how many critical targets there are in rural states.

It is, in fact, the state of Indiana that has the most terrorist targets, almost three times as many as California!

“We don’t find it embarrassing,” said the department’s deputy press secretary, Jarrod Agen. “The list [of targets] is a valuable tool.”

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