Expert, Shmexpert

About a week ago, the email server used by climate scientists at the University of East Anglia was hacked, and emails dating as far back as 1996 were posted online.

National Review, the conservative magazine, “asked its environmentalism experts to weigh in” on the implications of the leak. One of the experts is Henry Payne, billed as “an editorial writer and cartoonist with the Detroit News.” According to wikipedia, Mr. Payne is a history major.

As a computer scientist and Chinese food enthusiast, I believe I am more qualified than Mr. Payne to discuss climate change, and I hope National Review will consider asking me to write a piece on the subject next time.

Update: in the next episode of the series everybody is an expert, Sarah Palin writes an op-ed on climate change for the Washington Post. “I’ve always believed that policy should be based on sound science, not politics,” writes Sarah Palin. I am looking forward to zombie Ronald Reagan‘s take on the matter.

6 thoughts on “Expert, Shmexpert

  1. Please. Lets first see some of your cartoons before you dare claiming to know something about global warming.

  2. But, Sariel, has Mr. Payne eaten drunken shrimps and stinky tofu, like I have? Has he had xiaolongbao in three different branches of Ding Tai Fung in three different countries? If this isn’t enough evidence of my expertise about global warming, I don’t know what is.

  3. I do concede that all these blessed activities do indeed contribute to global warming. However, by themselves, they do not make you an expect on global warming.

    Indeed, it might be that you were eating stinky shrimps and drunken tofu while walking counterclockwise around the common border point shared by all three countries, and visiting the branches of Ding Tai Fung located conveniently around this post. Indeed, to get frequent global warming miles for this activities, you need to show that in all three cases you could have stayed at home and eat a hamburger, and instead preferred to travel around the world just to meet up with the drunken shrimp.

    On the other hand, being a cartoonist requires a quickness of hand, and a sharpness of mind that is rarely encountered by mere tufu eating mortals. Indeed, you can rest assured that Mr. Payne has a mind sharper than the sharpest sharpened pen. He had spent years training his mind – it cuts through facts, theories, research, and other similar mumbo jumbo faster than scissors cut through paper. In short, he is blessed both by nature and moral clarity to the role the world had entrusted into him of being a global warming expert.

    As such, as long as you fail to provide cartoons to demonstrate your worthiness, I will reserve my judgment on your supposed expertise on global warming.

  4. Sariel, I have to concede that you are the highest expert on climate change, and you should be on their next panel.

    The editors of National Review may be reached at

    National Review
    215 Lexington Avenue
    New York, New York 10016

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